Dear Black Women.

“I want to talk about natural black hair, and how it’s not just hair. I mean, I’m interested in hair in sort of a very aesthetic way, just the beauty of hair, but also in a political way. What it says, what it means.”

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

In 1997, hairstylist Andre Walker created a numerical grading system for human hair types. The Andre Walker Typing System classifies kinky hair as “type 4”, (there are other types of hair defined as type 1 for straight hair, type 2 for wavy hair, and type 3 for curly hair, with letters A,B and C used as indicators of the degree of coil variation in each type), with the subcategory of type 4C being most exemplary of the afro-textured hair. Each strand of this hair type grows in a tiny angle – like helix shape.

However, kinky hair is often difficult to categorize because of the many different variations among individuals; pattern ;( mainly right coils), pattern size, density( sparse to dense) strand diameter (fine medium, coarse) and feel (cottony, woolly, spongy)

The Afro-textured hair is most popular in Africa, mainly in the Sub-Saharan Africa and the African diaspora and in some parts of Oceania and South East Africa.

Historically, many cultures in continental Africa developed hairstyles that defined statuses, or identity, in regards to age, ethnicity, wealth, social rank, marital status, religion, fertility, adulthood, health. Hair was carefully groomed by those who understood the aesthetic standard, as the social implications of hair grooming were a significant part of community life.

Dense. Thick. Clean. Long. Short. Healthy. All sought after by black women.

Evolved over the centuries, been through different cycles, Afro-textured hair has played a major role in defining a black woman. Slavery been a root of the ups and downs of the pride that we posses to this day.

The politics of Afro-textured hair totally represents embracing one’s natural self and for some, it is a simple matter of style preference. Amongst African tribes hair was not just hair but an external representation of belonging. It shares a story of identity that represents belonging in the face of separation.

The natural hair journey can be long and daunting. It is also one of those things you don’t know how difficult and time consuming and how much TLC is involved till you’re in possession of it. When it comes to hair, all women can relate. Whether you’re black or white or Asian, we all agonize over how to wear it, what color it should be, and cringe at the thought of hours of pain that you have to sit through to look “decent” or have an aesthetically pleasing look.

For me, hair has always been an important part of a woman’s dignity. Chopped part of my hair after I begun to grow it out, after senior high school, because my hair was too soft,it’s laughable to me now. I’d put shea butter in my hair but I for sure didn’t give it all the TLC it needed. I started to take care of my hair properly in university, my roommate was helpful in the process and I’ve been in love with the whole process ever since. It’s like bonding time with my hair. I love washdays even though I procrastinate a thousand times to finally do it. It is one of the best feelings in the world to wash my own hair and have water run down from my scalp over my face and have it trickle down. I dance in the shower with my music blasting on the side. I’ve grown to be steady with it, too patient for that matter. I’m not even the biggest about natural hair, but like J.Cole says, “ love yours” so you know.

Natural hair can be again, daunting, blow out your hair, it’s big and pretty, sleep on it, the next day without wrapping it or being extra cautious, or your scarf and bonnet not too tight and waking up with these somewhere in your sheets, could be the most annoying thing. Your hair literally is frizzier than ever, and the process begins again.

And so today, I sought to share my story with whoever would listen, but of course with some history.

Corporate environment and natural hair in Ghana is not as mutually exclusive but you’d get a few comments been passed around. Good and bad. I wore my hair out to work and someone says to “ it’s not my place to say but that’s a lot of hair all over the place like in the old days and I think you should do something about it” What nerve, to be honest. Do you know how much work and energy that went into this hair, do you know how much my arms hurt? Do you know how very content l am with myself? If you don’t shove your opinion somewhere and go and sit all the way at the back ?!

I know that there are a number of black women who have been in my position or worse. And it isn’t going to stop. For young black women, hair is not just something to play with, it is something that is laden with messages, and it has the Power to dictate how others treat you, and, in turn, how you feel about yourself. Natural hair could lead to acceptance or rejection from certain groups and social classes and it’s styling could provide the possibility of a career. Prior to the statement uttered to me, it has always been imperative to examine the tensions that come along with wearing your natural hair out to work and with those who have provided acceptance and genuinely love that we wear our natural hair out.

The flip side is, dampening someone’s confidence. Having millions of black women that end up not appreciative of their hair and the way they look with it. The issue is actually not about a woman wearing their natural hair out or getting locs, putting braids in or wearing a wig. The issue is with entitled men and women who think their unsolicited opinions matter. Mind your businesses, will you ? Let everyone feel comfortable in what they would. To each their own.

Anytime anyone passes a deliberate derogatory comment about your hair, whisper to yourself, “ sister mine, I’m going to get myself some ice cream for that” it would make you feel better, I promise.

Osibisa.

“ I feel pata pa” 🎶

African music is tradition that has been passed on from generations. The vastness of the continent is historically rich, ancient and diverse so as it’s music.

Osibisia is said to mean “ Criss cross rhythms” that explode with happiness but in its actuality, the Fante word for highlife. Written as “Osibisaba”.

A Ghanaian Afro-Pop band formed in 1969 by four expatriate African and Caribbean musicians. Their music is a fusion of African, Caribbean, funk, jazz, rock, Latin and RnB. Their original line up consisted of Teddy Osei (saxophone, flute, vocals), MacTontoh (trumpet and background vocals), Sol Amartefio ( drums and backing), all three from Ghana. Loughty Lasisi Amao (congas, percussion and horns) from Nigeria, Robert Bailey(keyboards) from Trinidad, Spartacus R (bass), Grenadian and Wendell Richardson( lead guitar and vocals), Antigua. Together known as the “ beautiful seven”.

In 1969, formed by three Ghanaians and three Caribbean musicians, Osibisa played a central role in developing awareness of African music in European and North American audiences in the 70’s. The Ghanaian founding members, Teddy Osei and brother Mac Tontoh were seasoned members of an Accra highlife band, Star Gazers, in the 1950’s. Teddy Osei moved to London in 1962 where he was eventually given a scholarship by the Ghanaian government to study music. Following previous groups in London, in 1969, feeling the need for more accomplished African musicians to be recognized, he persuaded Tontoh and Amarfio to join him in London and Osibisa was born.

True pioneers that set the pace and kept African music thriving, whose indignity sold Africa and Ghana to the world. The most successful and longest lived African heritage band.

The first to exit officially was Spartacus R, who was replaced many times. By Assagai, Jean Mandengue, among others. Amao left and was replaced by Kofi Ayivor, who was replaced by Potato but returned to the group later. Richardson left the group in 1972 and returned in 1975 and that’s the back story for “Welcome home” and “ Sunshine day”. Anyhow, Bailey was replaced by Kiki Gyan. Other members include, Totoh, Gregg Kofi Brown, Kari Bannerman, Emmanuel Rentzos, Roy Bedeau, Bessa Simmons, Kwame Yeboah, Colin Graham, Chris Jerome, Nii Tagoe, Errol Reid, Herman Asafo, Tony Etoria, Del Richardson, Daka Potato,amongst others.

This year marks 51 years of musical excellence since Osibisa exploded onto the music world with a throbbing sound and has been relevant since. Their integral sound set in stone for disco boom. Osibisa has played shows and run tours all over the world. During the late 1970s, they spent much of their time on world tours, playing to particularly large audiences in Japan, India, Australia and Africa. In 1980, Osibisa performed a special concert at the Zimbabwean independence celebrations. Even though they struggled in commercial terms in Europe and America they continued steadily to go on tours and release albums. Record labels include, MCA, Bronze records, Warner Bros, Decca US, and others. The band returned to Ghana to set up a recording studio and theater complex to help younger highlife musicians.

Studio albums include Osibisa, 1971, Woyaya, 1971, Heads, 1972, Supperfly, TnT Soundtrack, 1973, Happy children, Osibirock, 1974, Welcome home, 1975, Ojah Wake, 1976, Mystic Energy, 1980, Crlebration, 1980, African Flight, 1981, Movements, 1989, African Criss Cross, 1990, Monsore, 1997, African Dawn, African flight, 2003, Wango Wango, 2004, Osee Yee, 2009. Notable of their works are, singles, live albums, compilations, unauthorized albums, literature.

One of the important reasons for Odibisa’s enduring success has been their highly energetic and extravagant stage craftsmanship.

Osibisa has received life time awards, the group won their first Grammy for best Rock album for “The Resistance” at the 53rd Grammy awards amongst others recognitions home and abroad.

Mac Tontoh and Kiki Djan passed amidst surrounded controversies. May their souls Rest In Peace.

We are going

Heaven knows where are going

We will know we’re there

We will get there”

What is your favorite Osibisa song ?

The People, Politics, Power.

A good number of us were really whining in the class and someone said under their breath “ what is wrong with this man” I couldn’t hold back my laughter because the whole class was livid and complaining under low tones because our lecturer recommended a book we had to read, 167, and for which was examinable. It was my final year class.

Where we barely had the energy. Totally drained and clearly reading this book and having to review it in an examinable context wasn’t going to be done immediately or banded together at the last minute to do in groups because what the daily bump and grind included wasn’t stress. The reaction of the class, I loved to see it.

I read it just when I bought it because it’s in my nature to read anything I find. A good one, and decided to do a summary of the book and put it up for recommendation.

Themes. Themes refer to the main idea or the subject or topic of discourse.

Ignorance, betrayal, superstition, nepotism, hostility, hypocrisy, egoism, irresponsibility, corruption, brutality, revenge, encompass the themes of the book.

Achebe’s reputation as a novelist rests on his impartial understanding of, and his ability to represent, the Nigerian environment. His realistic characterization and diagnosis, of his country’s debility and has the power to inspire a revolution informed by African ideologies.

A satirical piece by Chinua Achebe, 1966, his most contemporary and sharply political novel, “ A man of the People” with its appraisal of the Nigerian public life and apparent call for military power.

The book is narrated by Odili, a young teacher in an unamed African country run by greedy corrupt politicians. His own former teacher who ended his career as a teacher in 1950, to become a full politician, referred to as both “Mr Nanga” and “Chief Nanga”, is now an elected minister of Culture of the country. When Chief Nanga comes to visit his home village, he and Odili meet again and Chief Nanga invites him to stay in his home with him in the capital while he made plans to study abroad. Odili inherently did not like the ministers style of politics and business but had some sort of admiration for him. He is also attracted to a young woman named Edna who traveled to the village with Chief Nanga and is supposedly to be the Chiefs new wife.

Odili accepts Chief Nanga’s invitation and goes to stay with him, spends time with him and sees the luxurious way of living portrayed by the politician as a result of corruption and notices that he had little to no information about his own portfolio as Minister of Culture.

Odili has an affair with a woman named Elsie who he brings to Chief Nanga’s house with the intentions of spending the night with her after a cultural event attended with Chief Nanga. The flip side is, she allows Chief Nanga to sleep with her instead, without shame. Chief Nanga does not understand why Odili is angry and says to offer him more girls to be with. Odili plans to take revenge by seducing Edna, the young woman Chief Nanga was to marry as a second wife. He also packs out of the house that night.

He becomes involved in a new party that seeks to replace the existing party. He becomes very obsessed with his revenge and taking Chief Nanga’s position. Both taunting each other along the way acting like warlords. Odili and his party members believe that they’d be transparent, honest and ready to be held for accountability. However, Odili realizes his people are ignorant. They actually expect the politicians to be corrupt but in turn expect their share of the national cake. It must come anyhow, whatever the politicians did, they really didn’t mind. They’d say, “ let the man enjoy his position”

Odili struggles with moral decisions as he set out to be on campaign. His father was the local chairman of Chief Nanga’s party, who the Chief had spoken to and somewhat bribed Odili with a scholarship offer to step down. Odili tries his uttermost best to convince the people that the government is corrupt and foul and needed to be replaced but the people couldn’t be bothered. They even go on to mount placards that insult his name. His father in turn gets punished as he loses his position as local chairman.

He rises beyond revenge and realizes he’s truly in love with Edna. He banks his hopes on pursuing her not to marry the chief but to no avail. Her father, for one,in comparison to the Chief describes Odili as a tick to a bull. The Chief had paid for her educational pursuit and therefore it looked like a dark alley for Odili. She couldn’t repay that money and neither could her father.

Odili decides to attend the campaign Chief Nanga set out to have where he is recognized and nearly beaten to death. He’s admitted to the hospital and Chief Nanga’s party wins again. But the aftermath is, the country’s thrown in chaos and turmoil.

Ultimately, the military overthrows the government. The people now vent and confess how terrible the former government was. Too late right? Despite their support for the same government they rooted and voted for.

Edna eventually stays with Odili throughout his ordeal to his recovery. Family members arrange marriage for the two. Odili is sad to learn the death of his friend Max, who was killed by a past government official and died honorably for the cause of the fight of a good government.

It was a scandal from the outset. The novel became important in January 1966 for predicting the army coup which took place only hours after the novels launch, culminating into the Biafran war. You can call Achebe a prophet.

The novel criticizes three groups. The intellectual elite, the politicians and the people. Each handling a part to ruining the nation.

It is very ironic the title of the book because, after all, the character labeled “a man of the people” truly wasn’t.

He was his own man.

A Phenomenal Woman.

“But still, like dust, I’ll rise”

I could write, but definitely a sparse one. All in one, thanksgiving and recognition and honorary declaration to a woman who run so creatives of letters and words could walk. It is only fitting.

Marguerite Annie Johnson as birthed on April 4, 1928 in St.Louis, United States and pseudonym as Maya Angelou which is a portmanteau of sorts derived this name as a pet name “Maya” from her brother Bailey and “Angelou” from her husband’s name Angelos. Her marriage did not last but her performing career sure did.

When she was 8 years old, Maya stopped speaking. She silenced her voice because she thought her voice killed a man. For almost five years she spoke to no one but her brother. The man she believed she had killed with her voice, her mother’s boyfriend, who raped her.

She told this story in her first book, “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings”, her ground breaking memoir about her childhood in the Jim Crow South. Her most important and lime light to fame, and the first of many to come. She went on to write plays,screen plays, short stories, articles, music and two cook books.

Her jobs included before 40, cook waitress, dancer, actor, playwright, editor at an English- language newspaper in Egypt, Calypso singer, and cast member of the opera, “ Porgy and Bless”

Maya Angelou was San Francisco’s first female American Cable Car Conductor. “ I loved uniforms” she once said in an interview with Oprah Winfrey, explaining why she wanted this particular job as a 16 year old. Per her mothers advice, she went to the city office that hired and sat there reading Russian literature until they agreed to hire her. She joined in 1975, shortly after writing the 1972 film, Georgia, Georgia about interracial romance. She was one of the first African American female members in the Directors of Guild America.

Maya Angelou’s life and work offer as a personal journey through the African American experience of the 20th Century, an experience that includes friendships with Malcolm X, Martin Luther King and James Baldwin.Her strong voice spoke volumes for black readers who had been deprived of authentic, intimate literature about living in America.

She wrote a number of books with series of poetry and autobiographies. Her poetry includes, “Just give me a cool drink of water ‘fore I die” 1971, Oh Pray My Wings are Gonna Fit Me Well” 1975 , And Still I Rise” 1978, Shaker Why Don’t You Sing” 1983, I Shall Not Be Moved, 1990. Maya’s autobiographies include “ I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” 1969, “Gather Together in my Name” 1974, “Merry like Christmas” 1976, The Heart of a Woman” 1981, All Gods Children need Traveling Shoes”1986, A Song Flung Up to the Heaven” 2002, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings: the collected autobiographies of Maya Angelou, 2004, “ Mom&Me& Mom”2013.

Maya is a recipient of more than 50 honorary degrees, awards and accolades through her diverse career and is a mentor to me as well as a number of people.

Maya Angelou died on the morning of May 28, 2014 at age 86. She was found by her nurse.

Regardless, we can still hear her say “still I rise!” She moved through the world with unshakable calm and confidence.

I truly believe in one of her sayings; “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget what you made them feel.”

A phenomenal woman I’ll forever look up to.

Rest Well Queen.

For the taking.

We have scars to show how far we’ve come but never the pain. Never the war we endured and survived.

It is the underbelly.

But you learn to love again, whatever the word means. You feel yourself breaking inside out and outside in. Which means pushing yourself through the uncomfortable because of the past to birth joys. Small or big. Or both.

It means taking yourself to a safer place and allowing hope. My hope, in other words is to be able to let go, to depend and fully lean on,without a doubt.

These are the roots that hold our soil.

These are the roots we speak of.

What is ours is a hope that births itself over and over again.

To be able to throw our hands up in the end and say, aye, the pain was worth it. It only burned to fill us with light.

Politeness is the default.

Some of us are not polite and I’m sorry as blunt as it sounds we’re going to have this conversation today.

Ultimately most of us particularly Ghanaians, who’ve gone through Ghanaian basic education system would’ve come across this book, “courtesy for boys and girls”. Every content of the book worth emulating and living by. Unfortunately, some of us seem to have a problem with the word courtesy.

A number of people I’d had to encounter when social distancing wasn’t a very home friendly phrase weren’t even the slightest bit of polite and I’d say it with my chest. Not the barest minimum. And you’d be surprised at how very plush they look. Not to begin with service providers and people who deliberately never have change for monies given them. Then why are you doing the business? Go home then ?

Another thing. People who are polite tend to be prey and I’d tell you why. Sometimes politeness is a little more pick -and -shovel or for want of a better word strenuous and pushes people to let an inappropriate comment go even when it’s speaker really deserves to be told off. So it’s literally this. Very mutually exclusive. The fact that you’re polite means you must sit through disrespect and let it slide and when the opposite happens you’re labeled rude and faux polite. Why ?

This period is for all the thinking we need. Doing all the things we love, whatever we find to keep us going. Here’s one thing I’d like us to do for ourselves and the human race, if you’re in the bracket of ticking people off the wrong way intentionally and are generally not polite, begin to think about being a better person because you’re not and that’s not cool. And you should be concerned. Let’s come out of this as better people. Saying our thank you’s and excuse me’s, sorry’s and being all rounded pleasant people. We can do our best. It doesn’t take anything away from you.

Stay home, stay safe. And hopefully we get to see the people we love soon, in flesh and not virtually.

-x.

Holding the line.

First, I hope we’re keeping well. I hope we’re in manageable spirits if not good. I hope we’re holding up.

I’ve been home for nearly a day and it’s so much rushing around the floors of my head and heart. I’m already tired. I see where this is going. I like being home but not under these circumstances.

So by this time we already know what every conversation in and around the world is centered on. The COVID-19. History in the making. I’ve been reading about the virus since it became a pandemic and keeping up with stats but really don’t understand what this is. It’s baffling, terrifying and there’s been growing paranoia we all didn’t know we were cable of showing. All normal at this time. It’s the normalcy we thought we had doing a very sporadic 360, for the entire world, everyone.

By now, we are already confused and fear heightened because there’s been dramatic acceleration of cases all over the world and particularly here in Ghana. From 2 cases to 52? And two deaths ? Lord Jesus.

Since the outbreak, uncertainty about what exact measure to put in place has been a problem as much as the virus has. There’s been widespread and general acceptance of the term social distancing, to help curb the the spread. And then at this point I think vaccination shouldn’t be a bad idea. But with what? There’s been one from Moderna Theraputics to scale production to millions but that’s also not as sure and solid enough yet. I read about A term called herd immunity, that can be achieved naturally ie in (natural active immunity) or through vaccination (artificial active immunity) when a good number of individuals are no longer able to transmit a pathogen. These levels vary on the type of pathogen and will naturally change over time as the human immune system begins to lose memory of a pathogen. The COVID 19 is about as virulent as the influenza strain years ago.

So the social distancing is perfect but can there be a directive for everyone to stay home and to be strictly adhered to? And finally put the country on some sort of lockdown so the old cases are handled and effective measures implemented to fully halt the spread?

The drag and uncertainty of this all ending, the death tolls, the change in behaviors of people, everything is what is wild. Very mad actually.

Essentially we’d have to wash our hands. And sanitize our hands. Per usual. But it’s become obsessive, literally when someone went to their car, went a few meters away from the entrance, or even did a quick turning at the front (someone at work said their hands will corrode) you’d wash them and properly, sanitize your hands, properly, have your temperature taken and recorded before you could get in to work anyway. For every time you went outside. And same at home. Literally everyone has become so health conscious and careful it reminds me that our mothers have finally won with “wash your hands often, take your vitamins,eat your fruits, don’t touch your face etc”

Also a number of us if not everyone said 2020 is our year. Barely 4 months in and it’s been one thing after the other. Before 2020, there was anticipation that it was going to be a different year, premonitions, etc so it’s probably manifesting. Or not, we don’t know for sure what’s going on. Throughout this madness I’ve tried to understand what exactly is going on to no avail. How there’s always a new medical term or new procedure, no concrete cure, …

But it’s still our year! Can I get an Amen?

All efforts have proven frail with longevity. I fully agree that we need to pray. It’s time to unanimously intercede for each other if we haven’t started already. In the trueness of our heart. Listen, whether casually or seriously talk to God, be sure to be talking to Him about this. Speak into existence protection. I mean, take care of yourself, do the needful, AMDIST prayer and faith.

And when this is over, may we never forget to say thank you to our health professionals and hug our loved ones tighter. May we still take our hygiene seriously. Hopefully this madness ends soon because this stifling is not helping anyone.

Stay safe guys.

-x

Going back.

It’s 10:07 pm and on a very regular day I’m supposed to be dozing off. Or have already gone. My alarm has gone off twice and my sleep mode is visibly activated. But my spirit says you have to write. I’m like noo. I’ll do that tomorrow. But I can’t. I need to do this. And now. So here we go.

Last Friday my buddy said herh you you’ve stopped doing your devotion. Out of the damn blue. Like no one asked him anything. Totally unprovoked. And you could literally hear a pin drop because it was deafening what the silence was. Like “drops mic” kinda situation. I’d share my quiet time with him everyday and be insistent that we read it and act like a Sunday school teacher asking what the text and memory verse said and what not.

It happens that since this year started, listen I haven’t had my devotion fully and properly if you know what I mean. Every once in a while I say ” oh it’s the bookshop they don’t have the devotional”. But guess what? I lied. There’s an app for the devotional I was only making excuses. I don’t even understand.

As many of you may well know, I’m a Christian. Pretty much God’s girl. And we have a very special relationship that I find beautiful and intense and fluid. That fluidity functions and is fueled by my consistency in prayer and devotion. So I pray. A lot. So much. But the scale is skewed because I haven’t had my proper course meal.

I’m here to say, if you’ve been like me or have drifted all the way that’s who God’s looking for.

The Bible says in Psalm 127 “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭127:1‬ ‭KJV‬‬

https://www.bible.com/1/psa.127.1.kjv

That is to say, we cannot do it without you, Lord.

And so father all we want to say is we’re sorry. Here we are. Back into your full solace. Properly sitting in your tabernacle. Cause your undeserving goodness and mercy to brood over us. Match our strides. Our going’s and coming’s Lord, may you order them. All we want to say is Father you’re worthy to receive honor and glory.Take all of it.

Truly your bar is unmatched.

PS: Sorry if some words are repetitive. I’m not editing this, I want this to be as genuine as genuine can be. x

Self Care.

God it’s been long! I honestly can’t count the number of times I have started thousand pieces of writings that I have never really concluded. I can also not count the number of times I’ve been reminded to update my blog because my last post specifically said that I would be consistent. But life happens, doesn’t it?

Most of us move along the spectrum between our best and worst days depending on what’s going on around us. We may definitely not have total control over our emotions especially when they’re very intense and overwhelming. But you can control them. Influence the thinking and feeling.

Despite existing in an era with the highest living standards in the history of mankind, recent polls have revealed that we modern people are for want of better words, miserable, angry, depressed and riddled with anxiety. More so than ever before.

Conversations with people within the age ranges of twenty to forty tend to have a similar trait of talking about life experiences in general. It really is the span of how very confusing and shocking life has been, things they could’ve done and undone and definitely things they’re proud of.

What it’s like for most of us in the early twenties is the somewhat shock of this thing called adulting and the pensiveness it puts you in. Back to back. It is untold and they barely give you the full information you need. Well we wobble, fall, pick up and keep going. Which ever direction it may be.

Thing is, some of us enable the situation. It’s already as bad as it can be. And we mostly steer it wrongly. And eventually cannot deal. It circles into depression and anxiety of which we have come to normalize saying and the easiness that it is passed off of with.

My concern is the mental health of our generation. And the seriousness it needs to be addressed with. Everyone’s mental health is important regardless of its intensity.

Question is, why are so many people truly prone to anxiety and depression in an era of possibilities and somewhat endless potentialities?

What happened in modern society to make this so widespread?

Maybe it’s because of technology and it’s wide acceptance that has many benefits and serves as a buffer between us and nature. Maybe it’s because we spend too much time in our own heads which is not as bad until it’s all you’re engrossed in. And end up shooting your self in your foot. Or maybe it’s because we’re a product of the polarizing media propaganda machine that undermines our intelligence and rotates a bandwagon that we take turns to jump on, exaggerate things that are the barest minimum, literally praise water for being wet and inadvertently posing a new status quo and normal.

Whatever you are, whatever enables you in that direction, you need to control and put measure to.

I feel like even though we’re all connected it’s because of the internet. Driven away from that it’s mostly loneliness and division and all those feelings that align you to depression and anxiety.

We need to band together. With the people that we genuinely love. Reach out to people that matter and even people that are remote to you. This ones for me because I’m the leader of not-reaching to people organization. Because listen, talking to people that you’re easy, comfortable and trusting with goes a long way to lightening the weight of your thoughts. You can take my word for it. If you want.

We can overcome pitfalls of emptiness and uncertainties and somewhat be prepared for this thing called adult life. Well not entirely, but to an extent. And then fully tapping into our full potentials as human beings.

Also get out of the rat race.

And enable self care.

Let’s do this life thing with all the sanity we can gather.

Do whatever makes you happy.

Go all the way.

Love, Abs.

Retrospect & the Art of Giving.

Hello!!

I’ve been in a space of irregularities with posting and not been very forthcoming with the blog but i assure you, i have been writing in my head the whole time putting pieces of drafts together. So my apologies. Forgive me also if this post isn’t as sequential. I need to write it all up in one.

Its been truly topsy-turvy. A roller coaster.I did numbers with highs and I’ve had some very hurtful lows but we move. Stepped into a higher version of myself and literally budded into a new person, definitely grown in age and other things and yes, it included majorly coming out of my comfort zone. I’ve also met the warmest group of the human specie and i’m biding with them for the long haul.

Anyway, what does the art of giving mean to you? The art of giving is at its heart a journey towards self- fulfillment, happiness and inner peace.

To give wholeheartedly means to give without having to flinch. To give without expecting to receive back. The art of giving isn’t only biblical , it is a force of nature which actually spirals and cycles back to you regardless of what religion you are affiliated to.I’m Christian so we would refer to the Bible. 2 Corinthians 9:6-9

A study also adds that, true art of giving comes from the same place inside you as your deepest happiness. That is, giving and happiness are interwoven.

I grew up in a household where sharing and giving for that matter was literally in our unwritten book of ‘courtesy for boys and girls’. We’d share with our friends as well and call one another family. In as much as giving became duty bound, I realized giving gave me back. It became a habit I had cultivated. It had become innate and i liked the feeling that came with giving wholeheartedly to people that needed it and doing it spontaneously.

There’s days when we’re caught in a dilemma. In traffic, at the corners on the streets, etc. What do you do when you feel ‘oh i don’t discern to give this person ‘ its two things , you’re either discerning right or overthinking it. Hence you go ahead and give anyway or you don’t.

You have something to give everyone. At church you do your offerings, tithes, sow seeds etc. At work, school,relationships , wherever you find yourself , give genuinely into whatever you do and even though people appreciate more the economic value of the part of giving , you definitely cannot give what you don’t have. Everything and anything matters. In traffic one day, a friend at work said to me, ‘keep doing the things you do, if they don’t reciprocate that’s their problem’.

Whether you’re a giver who gives selflessly or other-ish, keep at it. If you’re seeing returns, there’s more to come. If you aren’t seeing them yet, maybe you aren’t looking hard enough. Your blessings aren’t always financial, they’re not necessarily in monetary terms. There are other blessings that God causes to place in your life that you may not know about.

I doff my heart to every giver. If you don’t , start today. Each time you have the opportunity, don’t be hesitant! Give and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down,shaken together,running over will be put into your bosom. Giving is the oil that greases your blessings!